The Arbitrary ChuckJerry

Mariah Carey's first album is honestly one of the best albums ever released. Song after song of beautiful lyrics and that astounding voice that was so original in 1989 or so.

None of her albums since then have been as good as that one, though her next couple, Music Box especially, were pretty good. Since that album, Mariah has Sucked with a capital S. Her songs no longer feature her incredible voice, and are just over-produced R&B songs. She sings the type of songs that are usually packaged for those girls who can't sing, like J-Lo or Britney Spears.

Mariah never, ever, had any street credibility (just watch her try to do the running man in the "Someday" video) and the notion that she's trying to take it back to the hood is simply ludicrous. She rides in limousines and vacations on private islands for Pete's sake.

I have a theory as to why she sucks now. She has obviously had a lot of plastic surgery. Clearly she has breast implants, which probably doesn't effect her singing. She also clearly has had some sort of facial surgery, though, which may have effected her voice. Look at her when you get a chance. Her cheeks are enormous. She looks like a chipmunk, and the skin on her face is ridiculously tight. Not even a hint of a wrinkle.

Perhaps the surgery she had has messed up her voice, and she can't deliver the goods any more. When was the last time you heard her sing one of her old songs that required her to actually sing?

I'm just throwing that idea out there. I would guess that someone who is such a great singer wouldn't undergo something that would potentially ruin her voice for no reason, but Mariah did go crazy for a while there (she's probably still there, to tell you the truth). I mean, Barbra Streisand has that famous nose and she has said time and again that she would never think of operating on it because it would change the quality of her voice.

The best pop singer out there today is Christina Aguilera, who's last album "Stripped" is actually really good. She's taking the reverse Mariah route, meaning that Christina started off slutty and is transforming into a classy broad (ha, broad). Mariah was initially classy and is now slutty and apparently no longer a singer.