The Arbitrary ChuckJerry

I finished a sentence like this:
Never in my life: have I had the desire or the courage to do anything really out of the ordinary.

Joe asked me this:
Per the 31 sentences meme ... what would you have wanted to do, but weren't brave enough to make happen?

My answer:
I can't really point to one thing. I don't know if I've ever sat around thinking, "I want to do X, but I'm too big of a wimp to do it." Really I'm just risk averse. I don't really ever stray out of my comfort zone, which is relatively small, I think. I generally prefer to stay home or to just go see the people I know. Things like that. I think both "the desire or the courage" kindof go together.

Some examples might be things like my dealings with girls before I met Kathy, or not messing with drugs, or really doing any illegal things. I'm just not all that exciting, but I think there's probably something behind that I'm not really tapping into.

Lots of people went to study abroad and I never had a desire to do so. At the same time, I don't want to visit a part of the world where people don't speak English, because the idea of being out somewhere and not being able to talk to people is offputting (Unrelatedly, it's also I think disrespectful to go somehwere and expect people to speak English).

I think I need to feel a certain amount of control over my universe and the easiest way to do that is to keep it narrow. Branching out is not a prospect that really motivates me.

Daffy asked me:
Why did you get so upset at the guy guarding you in the Sunday morning basketball game? If he was fouling you every time, why'd you get mad at him? Isn't the onus on the refs to call the fouls. He was just doing what he could get away with without being whistled for fouling.

Maybe it was just all the frustration of us getting our asses kicked up until that point (and after that point also, incidently) that finally erupted?

My Answer:
Let me tell the story first. We were playing basketball and we were losing pretty badly mainly because we weren't as good as the team we were playing. That being said, I drove the lane 5 or 6 times and the same guy would reach around me and hit my arm every time and I wouldn't get the foul call.

The next time he did it was really egregious, so he and I both fell down and they called a foul on him. I got up and started to yell at him while he was still on the floor. If I remember right, I said, "You reach in on me every goddamn time and you need to stop. You need to stop doing that right now." There may have been a third sentence that was a repeat of the first two. As I said it, I was walking towards him and pointing sortof menacingly.

Basically I did it for the effect. I wasn't all that mad at the guy and I didn't say a word about it for the rest of the game. I wanted two things to happen. First I wanted him to stop reaching in on me so I could go around him more easily, and second I wanted to point out to the refs that he was in fact fouling me without bitching to them. It was a calculated move and it worked for the most part. The guy didn't even come near me the next couple of times and I got two or three open shots because he backed up when I came near him.

I think you misinterpreted the situation, Daff. There was no way the situation was going to escalate beyond me yelling at the guy. I had no intention of hitting him or anything, I was trying to gain an advantage at that point, and it sortof worked except I didn't actually make any shots and we still got killed.

Another one from Daffy:
"I'm really excited to have children because I've never met anyone that I'm actually related to."

Is there news you want to whare with us? Or is that just a general statement?

My Answer:
No specific news, so more of a general statement. We are planning to have kids in the immediate future, but nothing to report as of yet. The thought I expressed was one I've had for a long time now, beyond the context of actually trying to have a baby.

Here's a question from J:
I'm interested to know if your parents had had a somewhat open adoption, where you could find out who your bio-parents were when you were 18....would you have?

We're struggling with some issues surrounding how our kid might feel if we use completely anon. donor vs: known at 18. Thanks for your input.

My Answer:
I don't know if I could answer the "would you have?" question because it seems unanswerable in that context. The decision is not for the baby to make, obviously, and I wouldn't be able to make the decision 18 years after the fact. I guess you're asking if I would have liked for something like that to happen. That seems to violate the spirit of adoption from the parents' standpoint. Both the biological and adoptive parents. Similarly the spirit of being an anonymous sperm donor. Do people donate sperm and then say, "let me know when I have a kid," or if something like that were to happen would you ask someone who you know to be the donor?

I feel like I'm a part of my family, and no one is questioning my place in it, so I don't need to look elsewhere to fit in. Your situation (J) seems to be one that will be a close knit whole family unit that will be inclusive to whoever comes into it. From that perspective I don't think a baby would be lacking support or a feeling of belonging. I don't know if my input is any more relevant than anyone else's on this issue, though. Personally, I'm content with the limited information available to me.